Poem: Locked Within

So harsh it seems
this realm of broken souls
vulnerability,
ugly cruelty.
And you would call me to join?
Why should I flee this semi-safety?
Even if it's illusion,
it comforts me.

So loud the You Shoulds,
You Can'ts,
of others.
I bear the scars of straying
from the rules.
I've offered my heart up on the altar of the world.
And you would ask me again
to bleed for you?

No.
Too timid am I.
Too bruised.
Twice shy.
And now comfortable
in these shadows
Locked inside.

My deepest self calls this
a false fragility
and would have me stand in the light.
But bearing the thought
of nakedness before you
is more than I can do.

So I'll stay,
alone,
trying to silence
the roar of my thoughts.
I'll mourn the possibilities,
quiet my heart when it screams,
and pray,
till I find a stronger me.

Poem: For Megan

The following is an imagining of mine based upon my dear friend, Marie, and her daughter, Megan. Those of you on Twitter will recognize Marie as @spreadingjoy.

Megan has been an amazing warrior as she battles a very difficult to classify illness. Her family ceaselessly carries on searching for answers and treatment.

This is my imagining of Marie's prayer to her daughter. Love and Blessings to Megan and her family. May they find answers and know healing.


For Megan
------------

My sweet girl.
There are no songs I can sing
to comfort you on this night,
to quiet the storm within you,
to still the fear.
This battle is yours.
But I am at your side --
my love, my time, my heart
given up gladly in this fight.
I shall keep such a vision
of grace surrounding you
that the very angels will weep
at its beauty.
I’ll take care of you.
I’ll hold you
when the tears come.
I’ll make you laugh again
when your heart wants to break.
I’ll give you comfort
through this pain.
You have
all the love in my heart,
all the strength in my body,
all the faith in my spirit,
till my last breath.

Poetry: Breath

One more older piece that I wanted to put up for this new audience.


Breath
--------
You took my breath away…
Called to me as I passed distracted on the street.
You stopped me on a dime.
I recognized your voice in an instant.
And oh I knew those ice-blue eyes so well
When I turned and met them.
The feelings from across the years hit me in waves.
No longer a child,
With the grey in your ebony hair.
Older and therefore changed,
Yet ever the same.
Your left hand gleamed with the gold band,
And I could imagine being the one by your side
Held in those strong arms at night.
Your smile was still as warm
And your eyes twinkled with the same mischief.
I wondered if I succeeded in seeming cool
When inside I twisted and turned.
And I wonder if my smile seemed true,
When I broke inside with want and love for you,
With memories,
With what could have beens.
There was a time in which you could have been mine.
But we let each other go--
Our moment lost to the search for own lives.
And I’ve missed you,
The talent that flowed through your words,
And the way we came together in writing.
I adored you.
That never stopped.
The easy, sexy way you had about you,
The passion in your art,
The wit of your thoughts,
All entranced me.
But someone else will hold you tonight
And in seeing you again that kills me.
If I didn’t see any tenderness in you still,
If holding you as you hugged me hello wasn’t still electric,
My heart might not hurt so badly.
We can’t change the past.
And so we play at small talk.
We pretend that love died.
We pretend it doesn’t kill us to be reminded.
We pretend we’re happy the other moved on.
And as you walk away
I try to breathe again.

Poem: Biting Back

This is an older piece. Just wanted to throw it up on this new blog to make it available.

Biting Back
==============

I'm tasting blood
I'm biting back
so hard,
not saying what I'm feeling.
Incessant you are
with the moans,
the woe-is-me,
aren't I just tragic,
lost in my miseries?

And I think, not really.

I could swat you away
with all the concern
I'd grant a bug.
Just to get relief
from your attention craving,
look-at-me
tell me I'm worthy
and oh-please-praise-me's.

Either fight
Or accept in surrendering grace.
Either change
Or don't expect a shift to the pattern
Of your days.

I've tired of the broken record.
Listening with concern is at an end.
A warm heart has frosted o'er
in the cold of your darkness.
The charm of melancholy
long ago wore thin.

Soon there'll be no holding back
Words like daggers shall
Mortally and cruelly wound,
With no remorse or pity,
I'll slay this once love for good.

Yeah, go ahead weep
And scream,
try to hate me.
Pretend you won't miss me.
Wish to erase me.

But you know in the end,
I just gave you what you wanted baby.

Poem: Your love

You are my fiercest armor
and highest vulnerability,
the stars in my dark night,
and the sun’s renewal in my joy.
When I’m knocked breathless
by life’s blow,
you are the roots to steady me once more.
No finer treasure could exist
than your faith.
You hold.
You support.
You push and prompt.
You raise me up to be a better me.
You are the song of love in my life.
You give me the strength to dream.
And I thank God it’s in me that you believe.